….I was feeling surprised and quietly smug about how simple my pregnancy had been so far, at 32 weeks I was well into the third trimester and just starting to relax… until one morning last week when I had a very heavy and scary bleed which lead to an early morning trip to A and E and a 48 hours in hospital!
Thankfully both me and the baby are fine, but I have been diagnosed with Placenta Previa which means my placenta is covering my cervix, which probably means delivery by C Section if it doesn’t move, we’ve got a scan next week to assess the situation. So now I’m on rest, at least until the scan but possibly for the next 7 weeks so I don’t bleed again, believe me, it was a horribly frightening experience and one I don’t want to repeat, but now I’m bored! I’m working from home, and taking the dog for a short walk each day, but taking it easy means no long walks, no swimming and I’m nervous about travelling too far from home incase I need to go back to hospital!
Of course I’m willing to do whatever I have to to keep my baby and I safe but sitting around the house feeling anxious for 7 weeks wasn’t high on my agenda of priorities. 1 week in and I’m bored, fed up, worried and cabin fever is already setting in, couple that with the odd bout of pregnancy insomnia and suddenly my mental health plummets. I went into work yesterday, for a few hours, and was shocked at how vulnerable I felt to be away from home and family. A few women in the office made me feel like I was being over dramatic about my condition and made snide comments about me not being at work. It upset me much more than it normally would have. My husband found me at home last night, crying, feeling anxious about all sorts of stupid stuff that I really don’t care about in real life, grumpy, ratty and not in a great place at all.
I had been really looking forward to maternity leave. Having a Brighton mini babymoon and the final weeks before my son arrived, but now we’re probably having to cancel Brighton for fear of further problems and I am faced with a lot of time with nothing to do, no routine and poor mental health… anyway, this isn’t meant to be a pity post.
I went to bed late last night, all the not doing much means I’m not as tired as usual, and the bouts of insomnia and pregnancy discomfort don’t make my bed as appealing a place as it usually is. It turns out a late night was the key to a good night’s sleep.
I woke up early this morning, to the frosty early morning sun, streaming through the bungalow windows, shook off the morning sluggishness, filled up my bath tub with lush treats and got ready for the day. I took out my pup, only for a short walk, but it was nice to squalch around in the mud in my wellies, in the cold and frosty woods as the sun rose in the sky.
There’s something magical about the late February early morning frost and sun, a fresh chill with a promise of spring around the corner. Change is a coming.
I got home and spent some time in my gorgeous nursery, sorting out all my lovely baby stuff, my lucky son has so much already! He owns more clothes than me!
Today I decided to just expel worries, there’s something about the sun which helps. I put actual makeup on, for the first time in weeks, and went for lunch with my sister and nephew. It was great. I had fun, ate good food and enjoyed lovely company. I came home feeling much more like myself.
Having complications in pregnancy is crappy, and really worrying, but for me, things could be worse. The next 7 weeks may not pan out how I’d wanted them to, in fact if my problems continue then it may be sooner than 7 weeks, and delivery may well be more complicated then I would like but as long as my son and I are both safe at the end of it then it’s not the long face for me. I’m going to try really hard to keep myself entertained and as anxiety free as possible. I’m lucky to have got so far without complications and there’s so little time left now until our son arrives, spring is just around the corner and adventure awaits….