I’m really not very good at putting myself first, or generally asking for things I want, it’s a risk, if I don’t get what I wanted then I have to deal with that awful feeling of rejection, I’m not good at rejection, I don’t often get what I want, then but I don’t often really believe I really deserve it.
Anyway, anyone who’s been reading my blog will know that since starting this new job I’m struggling to balance my life and fit everything in. I gave up an exciting but stressful career that wasn’t working for me anymore to do a more “normal” job that I thought would help reduce my stress and help me focus on the important things in life, it’s not really working out. Not only is the job not satisfying my needs professionally but the regimented routine and long travel times mean I don’t have time and am too exhausted to appreciate life’s good stuff. The work is ok though and I am less stressed.
I spent ages trying to work out what would give me better balance in life and promote better wellbeing for myself (and in turn my husband!) and I came up with working from home 1 day a week.
Being so afraid of rejection it took a lot to ask the question of my boss in the first place. I find it really hard to be assertive in lots of situations so that small thing was a big deal for me. So I asked, and was told that my work was valued so much, they would be happy for me to work from home on a Monday rather than risk losing me. It was so lovely to feel that valued but was also a huge thing to realise that I had the power to do things my way. It was such a small ask really but made me feel incredibly empowered!
So today has been my first Monday at home, I’ve been swimming, been out for some lovely strolls with the pup, have had a completely stress free day and got loads of work done! This feels great! I’m hoping that by only doing the journey 4 days a week my energy levels will improve and I’ll feel better for getting time to do my own thing. It’s not quite living the dream but it’s a step in the right direction and all because I was brave enough to ask one tiny question. Again, I’m nowhere near as brave as I want to be, but it’s a step forward.
Is there something you’ve been thinking of doing but aren’t brave enough to ask for it? Some small step you could take to make life work for you a bit more? Small things can make a huge difference!
Normally by this time of day on a Monday I’m exhausted, stressed and dreading the rest of the week, now I’m happily sleepy and content, watching Mr Gypsie and the pup play in the garden, and although it sounds silly I’m super proud of myself for putting myself first for once and for asking that one tiny question….